Listening to Himself
Ice hockey has always made Ricky smile from ear to ear. He begged to watch live games with his parents, but when he would step into the arena, something changed. His mother watched her son shrink into his seat, holding his hands over his ears. He didn’t jump up and down when the whistle blew, but he whispered ‘too loud.’ He tried skating on his own, but the noises of the game felt too much to endure.
As an infant, Ricky constantly caught viruses. One ear infection rolled into another, and he endured tubes in his ears and countless rounds of antibiotics. His discomfort grew as he did, and as a naturally curious and energetic boy, he absorbed the world with deep feelings and emotions. The sensations of his environment, like the loud noises of the stadium and later, the dynamic of a classroom setting, proved overwhelming and exhausting for Ricky to process.
For Ricky, the aftermath of overstimulation would lead to impulsivity, hitting and pushing. His overwhelm would bubble up as a result of the stressors he felt around him. He’d had trouble sitting still within the structure of the classroom and was recommended for ADHD testing before kindergarten. When his teacher shared that Ricky had bit a friend, his mother knew something wasn’t adding up.
After researching functional medicine online and joining several mom groups, she started to look more deeply into his airway, his diet and his gut health following so much medicated illness at such a young age. Ricky’s bloodwork revealed an internal tendency toward inflammation, including a predisposition to celiac disease. He had low iron and low vitamin absorption (MTHFR), contributing to the strain on his body against environmental toxins and viruses. She also discovered primitive reflexes, and seeking professional support in her community, found Thrive.
“It was a whole new world to me,” she says of connecting the dots of Ricky’s challenges. “I didn’t understand until I started talking to Elizabeth how much correlation there was. I saw patterns in myself too.”
When Ricky met with Elizabeth, he was shy and timid. At his evaluation, Elizabeth worked through several active reflexes, sharing that his behavior was closely linked to his immaturities in his defensive reflexes. The combination of the stressors both in his external environment as well as his internal biome set his system into constant overwhelm. Instead of regulation, he had shut down with fear paralysis in loud threatening environments and acted out with in the moments of transition or sustained stillness, like the classroom. Without the integration of his defensive reflexes, Ricky was challenged to find a balance between his parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system with his body’s response.
Ricky started regular sessions at Thrive, visiting every other week and implementing exercises at home. His mom watched his behavior change, in subtle but profound ways.
“It’s pretty remarkable. You don’t notice day to day when you’re with your child all the time, but then an experience or situation happens that causes you to say, wow. He’s never responded in that way before,” she recalls. “It’s really amazing to see how much progress we’ve made.”
Elizabeth’s approach was something Ricky and his family truly valued. Having taken it upon themselves to seek answers for their son’s care, they appreciated Elizabeth’s detailed and informative support. For Ricky, the approach was a welcome reset to his nervous system.
“She has such a natural way about how she interacts with the kids. She has a calming presence and just makes everything fun,” says his mom. “She works closely with her clients and also their families to ensure they’re in the best hands possible.”
Perhaps the most powerful step in Ricky’s journey has been his newfound ability to self-advocate. He not only asks for certain relaxing exercises for his body, but provides feedback and even offers to reciprocate for his mom at home. In the classroom, his teachers have seen him confidently participate, ask questions and speak up for himself. He’s handling the stress of a full school day beautifully.
“He hasn’t seemed as burnt out from the stimulation of the day, and we don’t see those negative consequences of working so hard all day long. He’s learning to manage his emotions,” she says. “I wish everyone knew about primitive reflexes so everyone could get that support. It’s a key piece to helping a lot of children and adults alike.”
Outside of the classroom, Ricky is thriving as well. He’s even braved hockey try outs and can’t wait to skate with a team of his own. He looks forward to hearing the buzzer and knowing he scored that goal.
