Let Go of the Guilt

“Be gracious.”  Many of my friends, family members, colleagues and clients hear me saying this all the time.  I am not sure that the words are more for the person I am advising, or my own personal mantra. Life as a recovering Type A+ comes with many wonderful accomplishments, feel good times and successes, yet it also comes with consistent stress, self-criticism, feelings of inadequacy and perfectionism. Let alone a model for my two boys that is often unrealistic, and inconsistent with what I want for them in life.

As I advise others, including the lives that I touch through THRIVE, I encourage the idea of being gracious on yourself. Especially as parents, we are always striving to do the best for our children. One of my mentors once set a timer and said, “I am giving you 30 seconds to feel guilty about all the things you should have, would have and could have done, then we are going to learn and move on.” This exercise has helped me realize both personally and professionally:

we do the best we can in each given moment

with the resources we have and

sometimes we just don’t know what we don’t know

As you read some of my blog posts, I might be bringing up topics, thoughts and suggestions that might spark guilt, feelings of “I wish I had known that …. years ago,” or general discontent. I encourage you to be empowered knowing that we are meant to THRIVE in this world, and more specifically in my practice, the brain and nervous system always has the ability to change and grow.  So, even when you might learn something through my outreach, or in life, and you want to start beating yourself up:

give yourself 30 seconds of self-pity,

mantra “be gracious” 

learn and move on….