Preparing for Take Off

According to 2024 U.S. Census data, only a quarter of young adults ages 25 to 34 had achieved major milestones of independence – moving out of their parent’s home, securing a full-time job, or even marrying and starting a family of their own. There is a growing sense of dependence amongst our children today, coupled with immense social and economic pressures, that have them stalled. The launchpad is failing.

The constant, unnatural influence of social media has paved the way for a new barrier to growth. Expectations feel higher than ever, and many young adults feel the push and pull of perfectionism and self-criticism. Anxiety takes over, as fear of failure emerges. Fear paralysis, and active defensive reflexes, are driving the desire to retreat rather than engage in new challenges. 

 As parents and caregivers, our instinct is to protect. From birth, we are our children’s safe space and it’s hard to consider this reality when it comes to our own young adults. We want to clear the obstacles in their way, but in order to fully support and empower them, we simply cannot create a world without worry. Instead, the best thing we can do to foster their independence is to create the foundation for a system that feels resilient despite inevitable missteps along the way. 

Confident growth is directly associated with strong executive functioning. Tackling new challenges with problem solving, breaking down busy schedules with organization and prioritizing risk are skills honed within our prefrontal cortex. It is our neurological connections that help young adults navigate and engage with each new milestone. Failure is hardly a nonstarter. In fact, by creating a strong sense of self and supporting emotional resilience, we are helping our young adults to feel safe when they falter and find strength in the lessons they learn. 

We parents must navigate this journey along with our children. Rather than choose one of two paths- to helicopter or to abandon- there is power in supporting the building blocks of their neurological foundation. Agency, and confidence in decision making, can start small. Allow your growing child the chance to experience both success and failure in small doses, and be present to discuss their emotions along the way. They will learn that safety, while unseen, is in fact felt from within.